You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
