She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
