Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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