She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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