i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
