i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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