I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
