Your face is a jimmy john
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
