I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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