you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
