she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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