well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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