Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
