good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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