I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
