Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
