I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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