susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
my poor anus
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
