just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
