Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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