Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
