I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
