Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Randomize
