Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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