I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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