this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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