i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
