dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
