Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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