I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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