belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
