May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
