We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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