I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize