I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
