you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
