it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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