Do vagina's smell?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
