Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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