omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
