It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize