You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
