I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize