Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
