if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
