Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
COCAINE IS GR8
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
