Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize