Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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