Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
