I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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