i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
