apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
