Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
