so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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