apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
