is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
