So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
